I fled Him, down the nights, and down the days;
I fled Him, down the arches of the years;
I fled Him, down the labyrinthine days
Of my own mind; and in the midst of tears;
– From ‘The Hound of Heaven’ by Francis Thompson.
“Who would want him?”
The question took me back a bit. The person speaking to me meant well. He is a good person, but his question showed a lack of understanding.
“Really, Mary, who would want him?”
“For God, who said, “Let light shine out of darkness,” made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of God’s glory displayed in the face of Christ.” (2 Corinthians 4:6)
He was speaking about Collin and how I was afraid he might be kidnapped on one of his many escapes. Who would want him? I mentioned how there were so many perverts who steal a child.
He answered, “Oh yeah, I didn’t think of that.”
“Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God.” (1 John 4:7)
He looked at Collin through the prism of what his ideal of a perfect child should be. Downs is not perfect. In his world view, only healthy perfect children were worthy of being wanted. His children are perfect beautiful people. Collin is not. The sad part is that they no more want to know Collin than they want to see him as God sees him. It is only when we open our hearts to love, that we see what God sees.
“I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in his holy people,” (Ephesians 1:18)
Collin is not the perfect child. Collin has a disability but by the love of God who may allow a child a disability, He also gives him a great strength and that strength is love. No greater power in heaven and on earth exists. It is the essence of God himself. Collin’s innocent capacity to love is greater than any so-called normal child and it makes him more like God than you and I. Who wants him? I want him because he is mine and I love him.
“to open their eyes and turn them from darkness to light, and from the power of Satan to God, so that they may receive forgiveness of sins and a place among those who are sanctified by faith in Christ.” (Acts 26:18)
There are times when Collin tries my very soul. I am pushed the edge of my patience. There are times when I honestly wonder if I can go any further. It is in these times that I must turn to God and ask, “How often have I pushed you to the limit of your patience with me?” “How often did you wonder at the limits of faithlessness as I ran from you?” And I know that these are the moments when I have to get on my knees and thank God for all He has done for me. Collin has become the Lord’s instrument in pulling me back to Himself.
“What are mere mortals that you should be mindful of them, of human beings that you should care for them?” (Psalm 8:4)
And just what is it that we see when we look into the mirror? We were lost and in deep pits of despair. Our sins were as red as blood. We were filthy as the blackness that tainted our souls. Just who would want us? We come searching for our savior with scars of pain and abuse. We look for help around us and find none. Where do we finally turn when there is no where else to turn? And why, just why would this perfect creator want us? There is nothing we can do to pay for our sins, far too great a price it is not possible. Yet, the perfect lamb of God steps in and offers himself in our place. Why, because we are his and He loves us. He wants us.
“But God showed his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” (Romans 5:8)
In India, in one of the poorest areas of the world, the dying laid in the street unwanted and unloved. Who would want these people? Yet when St. Teresa of Calcutta picked up the dying from the streets, cared for their wounds, washed the dirt from their bodies, every act of love she and her sisters accomplished were never looked at as touching the abysses of humanity’s filth but as washing the body of Christ, tending to the wounds of Christ and lovingly caring for Christ himself. They chose to not look upon the imperfect of the world as undesirable but as Jesus in disguise. In inner locutions and visions, Jesus would plead with Mother Teresa, “Come be my light, I cannot go alone.” Apparently, Jesus wanted them.
God makes it so easy for me. I was not called to clean lice out of the wounds of the dying in Calcutta but was given a “forever child”. A child who can show and give more love than any other so-call perfect child. My first husband, Tom, had worked with Downs adults and once when seeing a Downs young man with his parents, he told me, “See that one, the more you love those children, the better they are.” Today I would tell him, ”No, the more we let them love us, the better we are.”
Let our prayer to always be, Lord open the eyes of my heart that I may see what you see and love what you love and hate what you hate.